Sexless Marriage, All You Need To Know
Sexless Marriage is a lot more common than you might think and I am pretty sure you will be quite surprised when you will learn the true scale of this marriage problem. The US National Health and Social Life Survey in 1994 found that 2 percent of the married respondents reported no sexual intimacy in 2003 and you can be sure that these numbers are much higher today, 17 years later.
Dr. Phil calls sexless marriages “an undeniable epidemic” and he notes that “loss of sexual desire can severely affect a marriage”.
Sexless Marriage Statistics
In order to emphasize how common this issue is among married couples, here are a few statistics:
- Married couples say they have sex an average of 68.5 times a year. That’s slightly more than once a week. — Newsweek
- Married people have 6.9 more sexual encounters per year than people who have never been married. — Newsweek
- 15 to 20 percent of couples have sex no more than 10 times a year, which experts define as a sexless marriage. — Newsweek
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20 to 30 percent of men and 30 to 50 percent of women say they have little or no sex drive. — USA Today
- 25 percent of all Americans (a third of women and a fifth of men) suffer from a condition known as hypoactive sexual desire (HSD), which is defined as a persistent or recurring deficiency or absence of sexual fantasies or thoughts, or a lack of interest in sex or being sexual. —Psychology Today
What Defines a Sexless Marriage?
A sexless marriage is really a marriage where little if any sexual activity takes place amongst the married couple. The definition of a sexless marriage is frequently considered to consist of marriages where sexual intimacy takes place fewer than 10 times a year, whereby 20% of the married couples in the National Health and Social Life Survey (NHSLS) would be included in this group. Newsweek magazine reports that Fifteen to twenty percent of married couples happen to be in a sexless marriage. Additional Studies indicate that 10% or less of the married couples below the age of 50 haven’t had sexual activity during the past year. Additionally, merely 20% or less report having sex several times annually under the age of 40.
What Are The Causes For a Sexless Marriage?
Sexless marriages can be cultivated as time passes through a array of potential causes.
Based on psychotherapist Tina Tessina, “the most common causes of sexless marriages” tend to be that “one partner had their feelings hurt or got turned down too many times, one got too busy or neglectful, or one or both partners has a communication problem of some sort”.
Clinical sexologist Judith Steinhart notes that “Problems inside a marriage, such as lack of trust, anxiety, financial issues, misunderstandings, pressure from children, all could affect a couple’s sexual habits.
Here are the most common causes that may lead to a sexless marriage:
- Biological changes (in both men and women)
- Depression
- Children
- Lack of energy, fatigue
- Sleep deprivation
- Lack of respect or trust in a relationship
- Jealousy
- Resentment
- Loss of self-esteem
Is Sex Really Important In a Marriage?
The short answer is yes. A little longer answer would be, hell yeah. Sex is important and crucial for the success of a marriage or a relationship in 99% of cases. According to Dr. Phil there are 3 main causes that can brake up and end a marriage and sex is one of them (along with in-laws and money).
If you find yourself asking this question than my guess is that you are in a sexless marriage or in a sexless relationship and the good news is that you don’t have to be and this is not a permanent situation. A sexless marriage can be fixed and turned around and it is important for you to know and understand that. It might not be easy to achieve but with the right state of mind and the right attitude it can surly be done and the benefits are enormous.
Here are some facts you must understand if you are ever going to fix your sexless marriage and get back to enjoying the kind of intimacy you once had and deserve:
It Is Only a Symptom
A sexless marriage isn’t an issue in by itself. It is a symptom associated with something which is significantly bigger. Attempting to fix the symptom rather than the actual issue could in fact render things a whole lot worse among married couples. In the event you genuinely want to bring sex back again into your own marriage life, than you will need to search deeper in order to find the actual cause or causes.
You Are Not Alone
You are not alone and you should be aware of that. A sexless marriage isn’t something which only you and your partner go through and you should already know this as I mentioned several spastics that prove this point earlier. The problem is that the sexless marriage problem has been swept under the rug for many years. It is something that many fear to mention and talk about and this is something you should avoid and ignore it no more. You need to find the right place to start getting your marriage back on track and bringing sex back to your life.
Age Is No Excuse
Age isn’t a excuse or a justification to cease having sex and enjoying it. You need to forget that as there are many old married couples that have regular sex well into their 70′s and 80′s. However, there are lots of young married couples whom get caught in a sexless marriage situation in their 30′s and even 20′s. .
“Expert” Books Won’t Help
So called expert books on how to improve your sex life will not help and you need to understand that. What you need is a true solution for YOU and your partner. The reason most of these books will not help is because they are written for both men and women and that is not the way to go about fixing this issue. You need a solution that is specifically designed for you.
It Won’t Fix Itself
Sexless marriage will not solve itself and will not clear up on its own like magic. Do not bury your head in the sand and realize that is up to you to find the solution for your sexless marriage problem. If not treated you just might bid farewell to sex permanently since many married couples continue for many years without having sex. Do not let this happen to you and your partner especially since you can fix it if you want to.
Can a Sexless Marriage Be Fixed?
Although experts claim that you are able to define your marriage or relationship as sexless as long as you’re having sex fewer than 10 times a year, the simple truth is that you can’t really quantify sex as it will vary from person to person. The amount of sexual activity you desire differs from one person to another as well as between different age groups. For a married couple in their 60′s, having sex once per month could possibly be more than enough, however for a young married couple in their 30′s, having sex once a month wouldn’t be so satisfying and could indicate that there is a problem.
With pressures, difficulties and stress from work, children, life and other circumstances, the only way to maintain your marriage and keep it going strong would be to invest time, energy and hard work in your relationship constantly. In spite of the bad statistics, psychologists claim that all marriages faces such difficult and challenging conditions at some point or another, but it shouldn’t mean the end of your marriage life.
The most important thing for you to take from this is the following:



